WOMEN: SEXUALITY IN ADOLESCENCE.
Most people (including teenagers) expect very different behaviour from boys and girls when it comes to sex. This is called the ‘double standard’.
The double standard
This is the view that says it’s OK for boys to ‘sow their wild oats’ and have sexual adventures when they’re young, but that girls must remain chaste and virginal. Boys who ‘score’ are admired by their mates. Girls can’t win. If they won’t have sex they’re ‘frigid’; if they do they’re ‘sluts’ or ‘tarts’. There are no such terms for boys.
The double standard is unfair and absurd these days, but it started off as protection for girls, who had a great deal to lose if they became pregnant. For this reason most parents (especially fathers, remembering what they got up to in their teens) still put a lot more restrictions on the comings and goings of their daughters than they do on their sons. Though some parents warn their sons to protect themselves from STD with condoms, few mention this to their daughters or advise them about contraception.
There is also the belief that boys have much stronger sex drives than girls (I don’t think this is true: how could it be measured?). It’s thought that their raging drives might make them get into fights or other mischief if they’re not released. The double standard doesn’t tell us who, if girls should be chaste, the boys are going to have sex with to relieve their pent-up drives!
If you’re a teenage girl today, you’ll get a lot of mixed messages about sexuality:
• you’ll be bombarded with sexual images and innuendoes from every type of media
• you’ll be encouraged to be sexually attractive
• you’ll be under a lot of pressure from boys to have sex.
In spite of all this, you’ll sense (though perhaps nobody ever tells you directly) that you’re expected to remain pure and chaste, with a strict obligation not to become pregnant.
Some girls are still subtly discouraged from being well informed about sexuality and contraception. Finding out about these things is considered premeditated and rather nasty – certainly something that nice girls don’t do’. Fortunately this attitude is disappearing as everyone realizes that the more you know, the less likely you are to have problems.
Sexual morality
People have strong beliefs about what’s right and wrong in sexual behaviour. Some believe that sex is a sacred act blessed by God as part of the sacrament of marriage. For others it’s a source of pleasure to be: enjoyed when you feel like it with whomever is available.
For many religious and ethnic groups premarital chastity is very important for both women and men (and in some, for women only), but in most of Western society, the ideal of the virgin bride has been abandoned. For most young people sexual values and morality are strongly influenced by their parents’ attitudes.
Talking about sex
Most of you will have talked about I among your friends, and many schools now deal with the subject (this was out of’ the question 30 years ago). More parents these days are discussing sex with their adolescent children, but there are still families where it remains unmentionable. This is a pity, because I believe it makes things easier for everyone if it comes out; in the open; many surveys have shown that adolescents get along better with their parents and take more responsibility for their sexuality if sex is discussed at home.
You could try bringing it up (only you can know whether this is possible or wise). Your parents might be grateful. If they seem embarrassed, remember how different things were in their youth, and be gentle with them. It can be hard to find the right words to use when talking about sex.
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Tags: Women’s Health